Sunday, July 10, 2011

Lack of coordination

Hey you guys!
Guess what I'm doing, here is a hint:

Hello Mudda, hello Fadda,
Here I am at Camp Granada.
Camp is very entertaining,
And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining.

Can you guess where I've been this past week and am this week to come? Yes, that's right, Summer Camp. Or, as the National Guard would rather you called it: Annual Training.
This year's A.T. is turning out to be very boring. Yeah, I know, a complaining soldier is a happy soldier. Whatever.
Yes, I know that I could be doing something, somewhere a lot worse than this, so all in all, I'll take it.

This past week, there were classes all week. Boring, mind numbing, coma inducing, common sense classes. I mostly stayed away from them. The only one I attended was a class on : Army Regulation 670-1: Wear and Appearance of Army Uniforms and Insignia .
As if. We've all graduated from Basic Training, holy crap this stuff suck. But there are "soldiers" parading around here like they were back home on the block.

So, in addition to these classes during "summer camp" they have us performing daily physical training.
Something like this:
An example of a coordination requiring Army exercise
One of the problems I have always had, and especially in the Army, has been a conspicuous lack of coordination. I have never been able to march in formation - in cadence. I am forever stepping on someone else's heels. Always, changing step to get in step. I always liked to march the troops because they had to left-right-left to my left-right-left.
So this past week, we had physical training that included required each soldier in attendance to demonstrate and direct one exercise to be performed by the rest of the platoon. The 25 of us Citizen Soldiers moved into a very large circle and proceeded to do once exercise not to exceed 20 repetitions. Think round robin style exercises that can include everything in the FM 21-20. Mostly, though everybody stuck to the standard exercises that include push-ups, sit-ups, side-straddle-hops, and so forth.
The problem for me is that my turn eventually came up. Like I said earlier, I have trouble marching and not causing trouble in formation, much less trying to count repetitions and do exercises. By the time my turn came up, I was tired of doing exercises not to mention no doing another set of push-ups. My bright idea was to copy an exercise that a soldier in our group who was recently discharged from active duty soldier used.
This was something done with the upper body and arms that looked dorky and turned out to require way more coordination than I was able to pull off.
So I cheated.
I started the exercise by saying in my manliest-command voice:
"The Double Bent Arm Behind The Back Touch And Release - thingy!"- "Starting Position ..........Move!"
When you give PT, you're supposed to control the action by counting the repetitions out loud. I was completely out of my element. I started out way behind and was lost in short order. I went silent and let the platoon count the repetitions and I controlled the stop. That's it. I'm done. No more. I know when I'm out of my element and giving P.T. is clearly where I draw the line.
I think that I'll perform self-directed PT on Tuesday when we return.

Deployed Louisiana National Guardsmen and Saintsations show off their new muscles after a physical training session at Camp Victory in Iraq. The Super Bowl champion New Orleans Saints cheerleaders dressed out in an Army physical fitness uniform and joined the group during their routine morning exercise. Mobilized Jan. 5, the 256th Infantry Brigade Combat Team is currently deployed to conduct convoy escort and force protection missions to set the conditions for the responsible draw down of U.S. Armed Forces in Iraq. (U.S. Army Photo by Sgt. Tresa L. Allemang, 199th Garrison Command Public Affairs/256th PAO)
An example of what in shape and coordinated soldiers look like. Also, a fine example of Saints Cheerleaders

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