Isolated and alone

Is that what I said in a previous post? That I felt isolated and alone, abandoned by God? You know what, I've had some time to reflect and I think that comment was mis-directed.
God certainly hasn't abandoned me. Not at all.
My church, certainly has. Without a doubt.
They would like to believe that if an illness is something they can't see, that the illness might just as well be from the devil. If it doesn't fit into their idea of an acceptable illness, then I am living in sin and will go to hell.
I have been told that I lack will power, that I should become the man God created me to be, that I am not praying hard enough or long enough, that I don't tithe enough, that my house isn't right. You name it. Am I perfect? Not at all, not even close. However, even though we serve a jealous God, he is also a loving God. He sent His Son to die for my sins. I accepted this gift of salvation and I love the Lord. Is there more than this to being a Christian? Yes, of course. One of our directives is to gather with other Christians, usually at church. This is where the problems start.
How then can it be that I "chose" this "lifestyle"? I have known that I had was transgendered since I was 5 years old. Way before the age of "responsibility". Could this have been one of those sins that was passed down from the Father? Who knows. I don't think so. If it was, wouldn't God have showed me in my prayer time or pleas? I've talked to God, we have a relationship. He has not mentioned this. My questions have been unanswered and my prayers to be healed, unmet.
Does this mean that God does not care about me or worse, that the Devil is in control? Not at all. This is the only part of my life that does not fit the model of my church's idea of the committed Christian. So, what, then? Good question. How can a loving God abandon me?  He wouldn't and hasn't. This should be treated like any other illness or syndrome. God hasn't abandoned those people.
The contradiction lies with the church. They can agree with doctors on one hand and dismiss the same ones on the other. I've heard and seen it many times. This weekend in fact. Our esteemed Pastor cited doctors' findings on something or other. However, when my wife and I were counseled by him regarding my feelings, he laughed about the medical studies regarding the transgenders and the possible medical causation. Forget that I suggested I was born this way and that my earliest memories were of these feelings. The doctors don't know anything and are misled, he said.
So what does the transgendered Christian do? We try to fit in with another group of outcasts, the LGBT folks. They are wonderful people. Just as deserving of God's love as anyone else. The problem is that we don't fit in with them either. The modern Church doesn't want us and the outcasts don't know what to do with us.
Look, I know that I/we are a threat to marriages (something?) in this atmosphere that the Church has created. Would a little understanding hurt? So what is going to happen, is that my wife and I are going to be socially ostracized. We will either be kicked out of our church or forced to leave because of social pressures. This will put pressure on my wife to let go of the person that she dearly loves, destroying a marriage in the process. What happens to our children will be equally disastrous.
I know and believe that God is in control. He loves me and cares what happens. A sparrow does not fall to the ground without God's knowledge how much more am I worth to God? He sent His Son to die for my sins. I am His.