Wednesday, July 9, 2014

The end of the line.



I told my now millionaire ex-wife about my transgender feelings before we were married. On the second date, even. 
Her response was that she couldn't accept that and if I felt that I needed to transition, she would divorce me.

She did.

But that's not what this story is about. Directly.

One of her arguments against trans feelings in general was that "how could we be sure" that gender confirmation surgery ("sex change") would cure me.
I told her that there wasn't anyway to be sure, because it happens only once. I did tell her that what I was doing wasn't working.
So, some twenty two years into the relationship and after failures with clergy and christian based therapy. My millionaire ex-wife was adamant that any therapy be christian based because secular therapy was of the devil. 
Therefore, not getting any help, I was at the end of the line. My life was surely going to end if transition didn't occur.

Transition happened. My marriage ended, my children ignore me, I've been kicked out of 4 churches and have been ridiculed almost daily. One of my biggest fears in transitioning is that I'd be trading one sorrow for another. I most certainly did and the pain from the losses are heartbreaking.
I've lived on hopes and impossible dreams my whole life. My body and mind are congruent and that is priceless. I couldn't be happier with the gender confirmation surgery. I was broken, now I'm fixed. 

What is hope worth? 

What is peace of mind worth?

Was it worth it?

Yes, it was. It allowed me to live one more day. What would you pay for that chance?


3 comments:

  1. Bless you. A hard road for sure, but happy for you

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  2. While your ex is probably beyond hope, I do hope your children come back to you. This has happened to several friends who have transitioned. In almost all cases, allowing for time to heal, the children have come back. I'm so glad congruency has come to your live.

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  3. This is heartbreaking and beautiful and inspiring. I wish you all the best.

    ReplyDelete